Miss Jay, J.D. Tells Us Why She Will No Longer Date Black Men! [Guest Blogger]

***This is Part 1, of a two part series. I will post my commentary to this tomorrow.*** [Dr. Jay of Thebookofjackson.blogspot.com]

Recently, I was chatting it up with a friend. I’m close enough to this young lady that she can feel free to say anything and I won’t get angry or judge. So imagine that while i’m visiting a blog that I actually frequent because I think it’s an excellently written blog, idatewhite.com, and she sends me this message: “I have decided to stop dating black men, and let me disclaim this entire conversation by saying I know some amazing black men who have a number of virtues that any woman would be lucky to have. Clearly they are not free of flaw but neither is anyone. They are still catches.”

Of course, I didn’t think anything was wrong with that. But I was still interested to know why and below are some of the highlights of the conversation:

First, my best friend [it’s a male] sent me an article on what single women can learn from Michelle Obama the article’s argument was that many black women wouldn’t date the community organizing earning 30K or something; and excuse me, I’m about to say something that some people cannot stand because I’m about to get very nitpicky and classist. Please forgive me in advance. Barack graduated from Columbia and then went to Harvard law. Michelle met him AT HER LAW FIRM. So it is different if he’s highly educated, able to hold his own with certain people in conversation, etc and chose to earn 30K.

Now a point on Michelle, a top Princeton grad who went to Harvard law as well, she knew her earning potential. I’d argue that a lot of girls who went to the top schools aren’t necessarily looking for the money. The money is already under control, they can earn it. They want someone with the credentials. That’s another issue, maybe thats a problem, but that’s not at issue right now. Yes, a community organizer who doesn’t make that much comparatively but that was by choice which is important he’s not making that much bc he cannot make more, he’s making that much bc this is a career choice he’s passionate about.

[A former male classmate], God bless his soul too but not as much, sent me something someone wrote on black women needing to stay fit and they cannot be surprised when men aren’t interested if they gain weight or already are fat. I am naturally thin, very thin, I will probably always be thin, BUT I understand that weight is an issue thats a little more complicated than eat right and work out sometimes, and eat right and work out in itself can be complicated. If you control for socioeconomic status, black men are less healthy than black women, its just true. But it doesn’t seem so, why? Their dating pool.

Want to read more? Continued here.

2 Responses

  1. Honestly, Ms. J’s statements were such run-on sentences that they hardly made any sense. I don’t feel that she gave a good enough argument regarding why she will no longer date African-American men, however!, I also don’t really care. If that is the personal decision that she has made then, More Power To Her and I hope that this leads to her finding the man that she desires. If it doesn’t, then counseling is available free of charge. 🙂 Love Always, ~bhellA!

  2. so why don’t you date black men… I didn’t catch that????

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