Written By: Ainz Neal
A few concepts and feelings have been conducting a ping-pong tournament in my head. Unfortunately it’s aiding in the creation of a major writer’s block. Before I am unable to hold my head up, due to the weight of the bricks,
I am compelled to squeeze out this post, and share a bit of what’s been on my mind. It is to my understanding that to a man there are three types of women/titles when it comes to relationships and dealing with the opposite sex:
1. The wifey (could also be a serious girlfriend, fiancée, baby mother?)
2. The prospect (semi -serious girlfriend, still feeling her out, will be seen in public with her)
3. The jump off (the down for whatever type chick, call her up when you feel lonely, no regular/consistent contact is kept, no emotions or feelings are shared)
Sometimes women work their way up in rank from the prospect to the wifey or even from the jump off to the prospect, and then maybe wifey. But what happens when the lines become blurred and the woman in the relationship is not given a title or category? Complete and utter confusion, that’s what! From a woman’s perspective we require everything upfront, which is why we ask 50 questions per minute, constantly get accused of nagging and throwing tantrums.
Yea, I wrote accused.
I cannot stress how important it is that we are as thorough as possible in our relationships. I recently threw a tantrum (yes, admittedly) because I have found myself in dealings with a “friend”, who I vibe with on everything, everything but the title issue. We are intimate on occasions, we share mutual friends, and we share jokes and go on mini adventures in the city together. Because of his past dealings with the opposite sex, he has stated to me repeatedly that he is “anti-relationship”. First off, I respect his view. Secondly, I don’t believe him for one second, and I know that it is unhealthy for anyone to make that kind proclamation, for it is a self fulfilling prophecy.
It is my belief that when we make that kind of proclamation we set ourselves up for heart break and misery.
So I threw my tantrum and stated that I did not want to see him again because the “friendship” is no longer comfortable for me and that I felt like a slut.
Afterward I regretted deeply saying what I did. Not because I’m a softie, or because I don’t have any integrity, but because I did not stop to look at the progress of the relationship.
I only looked at the fact that I did not have a title. Somehow I feared how others would view the relationship and that things would only get worse in the long run, without a title, now whose declaring the self fulfilling prophecy?
My “friend” brought to light a very important point; that had me thinking. He did not treat me like a jump off, so he did not understand why I felt like a jump off?
In retrospect, the relationship has progressed from the time we initiated our “union”. I feel like I know him better and we are more honest and open with each other than before.
Growth in our relationship is evident, I may not have the fancy title, but I now know that we are on the same page with one of the most important aspects of any relationship- Respect.
Needless to say we went back and forth on the issue, and I left it by saying “it’s not over”, just because I need to have the last word.
So my SHC folks, what do you think?
I know you enjoy your brand names, but how important is it for us to have labels/titles on our relationships?
Are titles overrated? Am I setting myself up for disaster?
Contributing Writer: Goddess Intellect
Filed under: radio the rahim, relationships | Tagged: jumpoff, non stop radio, prospect, radio the rahim, relationships, wifey | 5 Comments »